I put off coming in here to post anything nowadays cuz it’s all been done before. I keep saying the same things over and over and nothing changes and I don’t want anything to change anyway. I’ve explained why Abrahamics should have died ages ago and yet it still has an iron fist death grip wrapped around the neck of humanity and it’s not gonna let go. So why keep harping about it? Do I really want it to let go? Not really. I’d be worried what stupid humans would replace Abe’s god with if they couldn’t blame Him for their own shortcomings.
I tried my hand at fiction in here but it just reveals a horrendous weakness in my desire to be a writer of fiction: once I know how I’m going to end a story, I lose interest in telling it. With Project Lotus I wrote the ending first and then went back way too far and tried to work my way back to it, and when I got there, the same weakness hit me again. Maybe someday, but every time I come back in here again, I’m just reminded of my failures. I have a project in here somewhere, where I was listing my favorite comedians and why. Was gonna finish that someday. I posted Bill Cosby entries twice. I think that was the only artist I felt like praising more than once. We all know how that’s turned out since, haven’t we? If I could take it all back now, would I? No. But it saddens me how one by one those I put up on pedestals just keep falling back down.
I used to have a lot more online than this. I mean more than WordPress. I used to have a namesake domain name, but now I don’t. Before that a lady friend helped me set up an online blog, but she and I no longer speak, so that mysteriously disappeared many years ago now. I used to use GeoCities for a while, but I doubt anyone even remembers what what was today. I’ve been writing in online journals or diaries or blogs or whatever you want to call it since at least the fall of 1997 when my now ex-wife told me she wanted a divorce. I turned to the Internet to pour out my sorrows, which was probably the single dumbest thing I’ve ever done, but I did it, and that’s that. But my point is, there used to be a lot more of me on the Web than there is. That is perhaps for the best, but even if I can’t prove it, I can now say I’ve been slaving at a word processor of one form or another off and on FOR LITERALLY DECADES, and I have bupkus to show for it.
They say if you keep writing you’ll get better at it. I’ve yet to see evidence of that. At least when it comes to me. So why am I here again typing these words into obscure posterity now? Beats me. I guess I just ran out of excuses not to post something.