I may be having too much fun with this silly concept. There’s a website called PorkTrack where you input your birth date and it tells you what the most popular song on the radio was at the time. It’s very simple and very stupid, but also deliciously wonderful and hilarious and all that. In light of my recent interest in The Awesome MixTape from Guardians of the Galaxy, this website got me wondering.. maybe in a weird way my own parents have left a kinda mixtape for me.

Not the way Meredith Quill sat down and laboriously churned out a couple cassettes for her little Star Lord in the film, but if I were to investigate what music was popular around the time my parents might have conceived me, I could generate from that information a mixtape of my own. Now as the PorkTrack FAQ quickly points out, this is far from scientific. Actual scientists can’t deduce exactly when a baby was conceived even with available data. It’s one of those many mysteries of the universe that makes people think having babies is such a miracle. Cuz we don’t understand it fully. There’s gaps in our knowledge. All the science in the world can’t tell you when your folks actually made you happen. Couple that with my own personal circumstance: i was a late baby. I was “scheduled” to arrive in or around Christmas of 1967, but I didn’t actually arrive until many many moons after that. So there’s a window of about a month and a half give or take where I may have been conceived. I call this The Maybe Minute, cuz anywhere from say late March to early May of 1967, my folks mighta told my sisters to go to their room for no good reason, and maybe I happened.

Also, admittedly, I don’t know exactly what music my folks listened to. I have an idea, and it wasn’t top forty radio. As far back as I can remember, my mom was into gospel music but I doubt my dad would have had that playing in the room while they were getting it on. When it came to music, Dad was all over the map. A little bit country and a little bit rock n roll and sometimes I’d hear him listening to stuff and I’m like what the hell is that?  Guy Lombardo. Glenn Miller. Big band dance music. When mom and dad seemed a little frisky (which was rare or I was mostly oblivious to it), or snickering to each other, it was usually that kind of music playing from their bedroom, that was old even back then. Moon River rings a bell, but In The Mood’s more appropriate, considering. What we’d call light jazz today. My folks were not into jazz fusion so far as I know, and they definitely weren’t into hippie music. I woulda been. I dig that stuff, but they were from The Silent Generation so they responded to old standard contemporary stuff like Frank Sinatra or Nat King Cole. Safe stuff.

I recall hearing Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head by BJ Thomas around the house in my childhood. One of my earliest memories is sitting on my dad’s bed after he came home and he gave me record albums. My first exposure to music consisted of Jackson 5s “Goin Back To Indiana” which I LOVED especially the first side cuz it had Bill Cosby on it, also a Carpenters album that usually made me sleepy, and a Sesame Street record that had “Sing” in both english and spanish. However these songs came out after my conception. So while they may end up on my mixtape, they don’t really count.

I call it a mixtape. It’s a playlist really, and I’m leaving it here for my own edification but if you bothered to read down this far, then your reward is I’m making this playlist for you too. The idea here is that this music was being played in and around the world at the time my folks were frisky and biological science happened and I showed up. Again, my folks were probably listening to big band records. Doubt they were listening to the radio, but this was out there. This was the soundtrack of the world in and around the spring of 1967. Maybe some of these tunes were playing in shopping malls or supermarkets when my mom did errands with me in her uterus. They had car radios back then. I mighta been hopping and bopping along to this stuff, kicking and carrying on.

This playlist is the mixtape I woulda made for myself when I was a fetus, if I coulda gotten all the necessary equipment in the womb at the time. Music that probably woulda been accessible at or near my conception. I couldn’t do it back then so I’m doing it now. Imagine below is a picture of some random baby I grabbed from a google search listening to music in headphones. I couldn’t decide which one to use they were all so cute but none of em looked like ‘me’ so it didn’t visually work for the page. Still, you might wanna image google “baby music” for a laugh. They’re all adorable.