* EDITOR’S NOTE: on Tues Dec 17th 2013 i removed “identical” from between “two” and “X” in paragraph eleven as per AtyHans suggestion. No piece of DNA is guaranteed identical to any other strand or portion of strand. There’s always slight ‘imperfections’ which is how we get such diversity, but i consider this splitting hairs. For purposes of a layman’s perspective inside the context of this piece, the two X chromosomes are practically the same. AtyHans points out one X comes from the female and one comes from the male parent. So they are going to be different, but they are both X chromosomes so categorically I argue they are literally the same. The devil’s in the details, but that’s for actual scientists to deliberate. I don’t claim to be a scientist. AtyHans does have a valid point though, hence the edit. On the same day I found “identical” elsewhere in this post and have made necessary edits. Maybe this is like how “literally” is slowly evolving in modern parlance to mean “practically” in that i mean they are categorically identical from a layman’s perspective but any scientist will tell you every DNA strand is unique. When we compare chimp DNA to human DNA they are over 95% the same. The vast majority of the two strands are literally the same, but upon closer inspection there will be minute, practical differences. Again. We are splitting hairs, but the distinction is entertaining me at the moment.

I’m about to put Abrahamics to bed. Again. This is not an attempt to convert you, if you are a Believer. I challenge you to prove me wrong. I also challenge you to actually prove what you do believe. By the way, I don’t believe any of what I’m about to say. This is what I (and many people much smarter than me) have observed actually happening in this universe. I am comparing stuff written thousands of years ago by goat herders to stuff written not too long ago by scientists and other modern thinkers. Myth versus proof. Faith versus doubt. Reason versus wishful thinking. However, I’m going at this from a very irrational bent, cuz I also happen to be a SubGenius.

So. Everybody hold on to your butts. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride.

We all know the story, and tho I haven’t actually read the Islamic version, I’m sure it’s based loosely off the Judeo-Christian version. [Editor’s note 2013.12.17: i have since read the islamic version in the Quran and it’s a BLATANT rip off of the Judeo-Christian version, reads like a jock cribbing notes from a geek who went to class. Muhammad is SHAMEFUL about how much he ripped off the torah. I mean really.] The devil may be in the details, but let’s see if I got this straight: God made Man first, out of clay. Then God took a rib out of Adam and made the first woman, which was then named Eve. Can we all agree that’s how the story goes? Perhaps whatever your beliefs are, there’s some trivial thing I got wrong, but essentially all the monotheistic beliefs assume a god made man and then woman came after man. Polytheism is different. Pagans are off the hook for now. I’m once again tilting at the Judeo-Christian-Islamic Abrahamic windmills and this time I think we have check mate, but I’m getting ahead of myself here.

Then after God made man and woman, he let them have free reign over this big garden called Eden. He only had one rule and it was not to eat of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. Now God’s presumably all powerful and all knowing, so he knew when he made that rule they were gonna eat of the tree. If he didn’t, then YOUR god is limited and therefore not all powerful and all knowing, therefore not god. But that’s too easy. Let’s assume he’s omni-everything.

So Adam and Eve didn’t know what good and evil even was until after they ate of the fruit on that tree. A serpent came by which people assume was The Devil and he knew the difference between good and evil and he conned Eve into eating the fruit and then now SHE knows what good and evil is and she in turn tells Adam to eat of the forbidden tree’s fruit. And he does cuz he’s an idiot. Then God has a cow and banishes them from the garden and tells the snake he has to slither on the ground which is what he was doing anyway. Big punishment there. Okay so allegedly snakes had legs before this point right? God just magically made them go away. And then women he said have to suffer pain through pregnancy from now on. Presumably it was all peaches and cream before but Eve don’t know that cuz she never had children before she knew the difference between good and evil. And ADAM oh he got the worst of this crap he had to toil in the fields all day for the rest of his life. No more just wander around the garden of Eden and do whatever the hell he wants to do. Right?

Good myth. Great story, right? Never happened. There was no Adam. There was no Eve. There was no snake with legs going around tempting people to eat their fruits and veggies. It’s an allegory. We’re not supposed to believe it literally are we?

Ah. Am I losing some of you there? Are you the kind of person who will still be lost even after I give you proof that God never made Adam first and then made Eve out of Adam? Or do you think I don’t have that proof? Well either way, here ya go.

There are 46 chromosomes in every cell of your body right now. Okay, you might be an aberrant of some sort but let’s assume you’re “normal” whatever that is. These 46 are paired up and the first 22 chromosomes are known as autosomes, which are essentially near* identical across the board (again there’s genetic defects and other aberrations in some individuals but you know what i mean).

The 23rd pairing is commonly referred to as the XX or XY chromosome. Yes I’m aware of the cultural significance of the cross in christian dogma and oh gee doesn’t the X look a lot like a cross? Ask your favorite pagan about the history of the cross symbol prior to the introduction of Jesus as an anointed one.

Let’s move on.

This last pairing determines if you’re a guy or a girl, and it coincidentally affects some other things like color blindness, baldness, and hemophilia. Aside from that, genetically speaking, men and women are essentially the same. Outside the microscopic world of genetics there are of course many obvious differences but aside from genitalia, most physical changes kick in at puberty cuz of chemicals produced and introduced into the bloodstream as dictated by having an X or a Y chromosome. If you’re a female, you have two X chromosomes.* From the point of birth, every cell in your body is replicated with that specification, which means you’re gonna get big mammaries and cry at movies. If you’re a guy, you have one X and then a Y chromosome which, as the next video will illustrate, is noticeably based off the X chromosome, but has some deletions and also some additions from tiny pieces of other chromosomes.

So as this video demonstrates, as well as countless other scientific evidence on this subject (which you can go look up yourself to fact check me and I encourage you to do so) proves even after doubt, the Y chromosome is an altered X chromosome. The Y chromosome did not exist first. It was made up by editing the X chromosome. Are you following me? This means a woman could not have been made by a man. The self-evident fact is man was made by altering woman DNA. Not a rib. Not mud. Deoxyribonucleic acid.

Which came first? The chicken or the egg? Creation assumes it was a chicken. Cuz god made chickens and then later on decided they have to lay eggs, probably cuz they ate from The Tree of Knowledge of Crossing Roads or something. Evolution knows the egg came first. Something that was genetically almost identical to what we today assume to be a chicken gave birth to something that had a very slight aberration in DNA and then grew up to become the first chicken. Creation says the chicken came first. Evolution says the egg came first, but before that was an almost chicken.

Creation assumes man came first, cuz it assumes a superior being magically made man, and then made woman out of man. Creationists can’t prove this. They cite the bible as their proof and then just shrug and go well isn’t this obvious to you? If it’s not obvious to you, then something’s wrong with you. They can’t prove this. They just jump to these conclusions and insist you call this science. It’s not. It never was.

Science has determined by observing the genetic make up of human beings and mapping the human genome that man could not have come first. Woman must have come first, and then the difference between men and women came later. There never was a YY species. There never was a time when there was a Y chromosome without an X chromosome. There could not have been, because parts of the Y chromosome are copied from the X chromosome, and then alterations were made to it. Everything else in the 23 chromosomal pairs are by default similar* except for the trailing Y chromosome. It’s an after thought. The differences in sexes came much later. There may have been a time before marsupials when there wasn’t even a need for a male in the sexual reproductive process, but that change evolved over millions of years. We know that there are forms of marine life even today that are asexual and don’t need a male and a female. There are even land animals in the wild which exhibit hermaphroditic or transsexual traits. Not to mention some human beings today that also do this. Despite the insistence of modern culture to demand everyone fall into one of two gender categories, the truth is far more complicated, as well it should be.

I mean yeah it’s kinda weird to me, partly cuz I was raised in a sheltered way, but we grow and we mature and we deal with what we don’t understand and we learn to understand it. And it’s totally cool. I sometimes cry at movies. I don’t like sports. I don’t like cars. I enjoy Barbra Streisand music. I also happen to prefer ladies to men. We all exhibit differences and sometimes those differences go to skirts over pants or lingerie over boxers. You can argue over whether this is genetic and you can’t control yourself or if it’s a personal aesthetic choice you make cuz you wanna be happy. Maybe it’s biochemical and maybe it’s cultural and maybe it’s just you prefer silk to cotton. Maybe it’s all the above.

Whatever it is, it’s cool.

And no matter how you slice it, it means that even as an allegory, the creation myth of Adam and Eve is not remotely possible. Even if you try to look at it in general terms. Okay maybe there never was an Adam or Eve or Eden or a Tree of Forbidden Fruit, but surely somewhere back there was a moment when a god made a promise to man and woman, woman broke that promise and instigated The Original Sin. This original sin tainted all of mankind for countless generations and led to the fall of mankind into an abyss of hell and damnation which could ultimately only be thwarted by that god creating himself as a man, sending himself to Earth to fulfill some weird prophecies, then sacrifice himself to himself to undo the damage done by The First Woman upon The First Man.


(or by Muhammad doing whatever the fuck he did. don’t git me stahted.)


Never happened.

Cuz females were first.

Then the male sex evolved from the female sex.

This supposedly inerrant Word of God didn’t even get that right. And if it didn’t get that right, everything else falls like a house of cards. It’s not the inerrant Word of God. It’s a very errant Word of Man.

Even as an allegory, the myth is a total and complete fail. And if Original Sin never happened, then there’s no need for islamic, jewish, or christian doctrine. It’s all a lie.

This is not just checkmate. This is not just the final nail in the coffin of ALL abrahamic beliefs. This is a burning ember of a fire that went out a long time ago.

Religion is a con. Original sin is a falsehood.

So what’s keeping this con going? What’s still fueling this fire, if the lie of original sin is so blatant and obvious? Is it you?

I don’t believe in feminism. I don’t have to believe in feminism. Females were first. Males showed up as an afterthought.

The evidence speaks for itself, but it doesn’t mean we should just turn everything over to women and live a matriarchal society, though personally I am not averse to that idea.

What it means is, aside from a couple physical differences and some chemical stuff, men and women are 99.99% identical. We should treat one another equally. Women should not be told they have to serve men. Women should not be restricted in any way from participating in everything under the sun that men can do. If an individual woman physically can’t lift the same weight that men do, that’s one thing. Doesn’t make her inferior. In fact in other ways women are far superior to men. Like multi-tasking for example, or perpetuating the human species through baby making, or trouble shooting, spatial relationships, intuition, diplomacy in war torn Afghanistan..

It means you should only wear a burqua, or a skirt, or even skimpy lingerie, if you feel like it. And conservative fundamentalist zealots of any stripe should stop trying to push women down as subservient to men, and they should stop trying to legislate their brand of morality upon the rest of us.

Cuz they don’t have a chromosome to stand on.