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Charles Dickens was talking about the French Revolution when he said, “it was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” He could just as easily have been talking about now, or mankind’s future, or any point during our tumultuous history. Athens versus Sparta. Rome versus the barbarians. North versus south. East versus west. It seems we’ve always been at one another’s throats. I don’t get it. How can anyone look at the history of mankind up until now and then scratch their heads and go, “y’know what we need to do? Be at each other’s throats some more. That seems to work.” It doesn’t seem to work. Objectively speaking, it’s consistently stupid.

Yet somehow at the same time we’ve managed to do some great things too. We figured out how to control fire and lightning. We figured out we’re not the center of the universe. We figured out we’re made of the same elements that can be found in stars. The cotton gin. The crapper. Horseless carriages. The telephone. The radio. The television. The laser. Tang. I just learned Tang wasn’t made directly by the NASA space program. It was made by a guy named William Mitchell for General Foods back in 1959 and nobody was buying it, but John Glenn preferred it over the crap the NASA medical team was trying to get him to drink up there. So after NASA started using Tang, sales went up. That’s positive. Uplifting. Even inspirational. The space program stimulates the economy.

I’ve been trying to figure out for a couple days how to contrast two recent events. One of them was NASA throwing a rover the size of an SUV at MARS and making a six point landing. The other one..

Y’know what? The other one doesn’t matter. The man’s name. What he did. How many he killed. Whenever you’re reading this, there has probably recently been yet another event where a monster went somewhere public and killed complete strangers cuz he was an idiot. Y’know what? It doesn’t matter. We put man on the moon. We put rovers on Mars. We’re gonna put people on Mars someday. Mankind made TANG! Dammit!

There are monsters and there are angels amidst us. The mistake we make is separating ourselves from them. Those monsters are us. Those angels are us.

You have inside you the capacity to be either a monster or an angel. It’s up to you. In fact I bet at some time in your life you’ve already looked in that mirror and seen both of them. Maybe not at the same time. Maybe you blind yourself to seeing one or the other, and that’s the problem. It’s when we distance ourselves from that possibility that we increase the chance of becoming a monster and not seeing it, or becoming an angel and not appreciating it. I’ve seen both of em in my mirror. Frankly I don’t like either of em, even the angel. Cuz he’s an arrogant little prick. “ooh look what i just did” shut up you stupid angel.

Don’t hide from the monster within. Get to know it. Learn how to fight it. The people who you hear about in the news that are monsters now? They feared the monster inside them, and then their hate for the perceived monsters outside them got the best of their inner angels, and the monster won out. Fear breeds anger which breeds hate which causes suffering. Don’t let your monster win. Same with the angel. Don’t hide from it. Get to know it. Learn from it. Or you can be like me and beat it up when it gets full of itself.

Think you differ from those monsters and angels? You could never be one of them? Think again. We could use more angels. I’ve abused my angel by hitting it with my monster. They’re both pretty wussy now. So I’m generally worthless. You should nurture yours. Learn how to use them to your advantage, but never give them the keys to your car, and never take the safety off.

Those monsters that have been left unchecked and grown like weeds? They are human beings. They’re somebody’s father. Somebody’s son. Somebody’s brother. Genetically, you are almost identical with every other human being that ever lived. Your genes are 93% identical with a rhesus monkey, so the difference in the DNA between you and Julius Caesar or Morgan Freeman or Justin Bieber is negligible.

There are people who want to fight for the master race, but they think that means white skin or blue eyes or blond hair. They’re full of shit. Guess what. We’re it! This is it! In all its complexity and diversity, the human genome is mapped and we are all the same race. White blood is not a pure breed. There is NO scientific evidence supporting that boldfaced lie of a belief. Yet people still fight over it. People still shed blood over it. What a pathetic waste.

This past weekend, thousands of bright, involved, dedicated people from all over the world pooled their resources and banded together not to worship a false god or compare star charts or pretend to release their engrams or do tarot readings. They used science and math to move an object from Earth to Mars. Took years to organize it. Took eight months to fly it there. Takes fourteen minutes for radio waves to travel from Mars to Earth at the speed of light. Took seven minutes for the spaceship carrying the Rover to enter the atmosphere and safely land the Rover, all of which was automated and completely out of human control. That Mars Rover sat there for seven minutes after touchdown before anyone on Earth knew it hadn’t crashed and burned with debris scattered all over the Mars landscape. It was a feat of engineering unsurpassed by anything else mankind has ever accomplished.

The Trojan horse. Spanish Armada. The first balloon ship. The Wright Brothers. Charles Lindbergh. Buzz Aldrin. Every scientific discovery and experiment and new lesson learned mankind has done since fire and the wheel to ever lovin’ TANG and beyond, has led to this moment. And now that we’ve done the Mars Rover, that’s gonna turn into just one more thing people like me mention in the future next time someone figures out the next big scientific discovery.

Y’know those Higgs Boson guys? One of them reportedly whined about how they don’t understand people are making a big deal about the Mars Rover Curiosity when the discovery of the Higgs Boson particle is a greater discovery. Now that we know what particle causes mass in SpaceTime, we are one step closer to figuring out how to make flying cars. Cuz is we know what causes mass, we can get that much closer to figuring out how to control gravity. So guess what? When those Higgs Boson guys figure out how to make a flying car? Then we can talk. Mars had to use a lot of thrust to get a car at Mars and they aimed it at Mars and it didn’t miss. That is amazing. Maybe a few decades from now we’ll be able to turn off the Higgs Boson particle and we won’t need to throw it. Then THAT will be the most amazing feat yet.

So you white supremacists and righteous terrorists and psychopathic college dropouts can commit all the genocide you want. You can’t kill all of us. We’re gonna make flying cars and clone more sheep and make better mousetraps and and and DRINK MORE TANG! We made Tang. Mankind made Tang. Well, Bill Mitchell’s inner angel did, but we’re all taking credit for it. We don’t need your monsters. Either nurture the angels inside you, or get the hell out of mankind’s way.

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