Grab Her By The Pentecost

For years now, I have noted how the foundation for Abrahamics is a facade which can’t possibly hold up the monstrous behemoths called Judaism, Christianity, and Islam of its own accord. Something else is propping up religion in the modern world. The Usual Suspects are of course money and power. It is certainly not common sense or the laws of physics. While religious zealots and secular skeptics alike are quick to point out science can’t disprove a negative like “there is no god,” science has made discoveries which make religious revelations at best redundant and at worst dangerous, not only on an individual level, but to our entire species.

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As I write this, people are currently unhappy that Donald Trump represents the conservative religious fundamentalists of this country, even as millions of conservative religious fundamentalists of this country still plan to represent him come November with their religiously influenced votes, so he can pretend to represent us all for at least four years. Donald Trump is a man who has admitted to harassing women sexual in the workplace. He is a man who has threatened his female competitor for The White House with imprisonment for the presumption of crimes which the FBI has already investigated and found no basis that would hold up in court. Trump wants to imprison her anyway, and claims if elected, he will order his Attorney General to appoint a Special Prosecutor to investigate Hillary Clinton and also investigate the investigation which already determined she’s not going to jail over deleted emails cuz that’s silly. And when that Special Investigation comes to the same conclusion, perhaps Trump will appoint another Special Investigation to investigate the special investigation which investigated the Normal Investigation. Why? Cuz Trump is an idiot.

The conservative religious right can’t stand liberals and progressives so much, they would rather stand with a childish bullying sex molester than allow another four years of a Clinton in The White House. Others can’t understand why. How can religious zealots support and endorse such a hateful man who insists he has never asked their god for forgiveness because he refuses to admit to any wrongdoing. Even though he has not only admitted to wrongdoing, he boasts about it like a college student at a fraternity house.

On the surface, the reasoning is simple. Hillary Rodham Clinton is a female. Even though allowing a black man to steer this ship for eight years didn’t set well with racist conservative minds, they could perhaps think of it as delegating authority to an ex-slave child. After all, the presidency is a form of civil service, and President Barack Obama has been dutifully serving the American people in good standing all this time. Wealthy racist pricks can chalk this up to a modern form of slavery. However, allowing a woman to run things is simply unthinkable to these same pricks, as they also happen to be sexist.

christopherhitchens_abenisaacHowever, it gets even more complicated than that. The origins of this reasoning can be traced back to the origins of Abrahamics. Judaism, Christianity, and Islam are all founded on an archaic and outdated belief system which encourages violent bloodshed in the name of a vain, spiteful, and arrogant god. Trump is acting like the god of the Old Testament in his temperament, so Believers in the Abrahamic god would feel right at home under Trump’s monstrous and insane rule. Perhaps an individual Believer insists their modern brand of Abrahamics is all love and peace and light, but it all traces back to endless bloodshed, and nothing can remove that blemish from the Abrahamic dogma. Abraham was tasked by his god to slay his first and at the time only son Isaac on an altar as an offering to Abraham’s god. Like Abraham’s god had need of a dead kid. What possible purpose would that serve, beyond merely testing the faith of Abraham himself?

Now, think about this for a moment. If Abraham’s god were in fact a god, he would be, among other things, omniscient. Therefore, there would be no need to test Abraham in this way. Abe’s god would already know the outcome before it happened. But “free will” and blah blah blah, so Abe’s god directed his most faithful follower to kill his own flesh and blood. If Abe’s god were a benevolent god, this idea would not have even crossed such a god’s mind. So already we have put both benevolence and omniscience into question for this alleged superior being. He’s not sounding all that superior to me. I know it’s wrong to order someone to kill their own son, and I’m a college dropout! Granted, at the last minute, Abe’s god allows Abraham to spare poor Isaac at the last minute, and everyone lives happily ever after. Or so they teach in Bible School. However, even tho the narrative says Abe’s god changed his mind, this is an unacceptable order given by an allegedly benevolent omniscient god. This wouldn’t come from a benevolent omniscient god, but it would be just the sort of thing someone with Trump’s “temperament” would do.

In Christianity, it’s largely believed Jesus was born of a virgin. The significance of saying this is to assure that the son of a god was not born of Joseph’s seed. Since the story of Jesus was written thousands of years before human beings understood what dyna ribonucleic acid is, the writers presumed all a female is, is the hatchery. You could grow a baby god inside a woman’s uterus and it would be a full fledged god man without need for male sperm. God would provide all the necessary ingredients without any assistance from either Mary or Joseph. Why? Cuz he’s god, that’s why. Which begs the question: why did he need Mary at all? Aside from to fulfill prophecies which could be found in the Old Testament, that the New Testament’s audience were expecting to see fulfilled to their satisfaction, and you gotta know your audience when you’re making up gods. So Jesus could not be born of Joseph and Mary’s DNA, but rather instead had to magically be God Himselvis. And yet, the gospels painstakingly detail the lineages of both Mary and Joseph going from them all the way back to Abraham, and by proxy Adam and Eve. So if Mary was just the incubator, and Joseph’s seed was never even a part of this equation, why are their lineages so important? Because some of the audience were expecting it to be important, and some of the audience were not expecting it to be important, and the writers of The New Testament were interested in supporting both sides of this audience. Presumably, nobody in this initial audience thousands of years ago was interested in exploring how incredibly insipidly stupid this entire debacle is.

We are led to believe nothing as base and mundane as sex was committed upon Mary in order to conceive Jesus. Instead, an angel visited Mary to inform her that The Creator of All Things was commandeering her uterus In Interests of Interdimensional Security. The purpose of course was to save all mankind from sin, an invention God made up himselvis, and could get rid of at any time if in fact he’s both benevolent and omnipotent. We’ve already established he’s not any more benevolent than Donald Trump and his temperament.

The presumption would be that Mary would be excited about all this. What an honor! Not unlike a rich and famous old fat person like Donald Trump deeming a woman worthy of his intention by describing where she stands on a scale of one to ten. What woman wouldn’t be honored to have a future potential leader of the free world grab her by the uterus? Maybe she will be next to be chosen by a god for an immaculate conception! So of course religious zealots are embracing Donald Trump. He is easily as deplorable as the god of Abraham.